Fear of eating and drinking in front of others is one symptom of social anxiety disorder (SAD). Although cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with a mental health professional is the ideal treatment for this fear, there are steps that you can take on your own to help overcome your phobia.
Exposure to feared situations is a critical component of the success of CBT for SAD. If you have gotten into the habit of avoiding situations in which you must eat or drink in front of others, or if you endure these situations only for a short period of time and with much anxiety, you can reduce your fear by practicing exposures in your everyday life.
One of the critical aspects of exposures is that you challenge your fears. Try not to use partial avoidance strategies such as only ordering “safe” meals or only eating in certain restaurants. If you are afraid spicy food will make you blush, try ordering a hot dish. If there is something that causes you a great deal of anxiety, you must experience the situation often enough and for long enough periods that your anxiety is reduced. If the idea of practicing exposures in real life is still too difficult or if you are unable to reduce your anxiety in these situations, try practicing imagined exposures before trying these scenarios out in vivo.
As you begin to practice eating exposure, remember that everyone has a different hierarchy of situations, so use the following list as a guide for your progress, but be sure to tailor it to reflect your fears. Begin with the situation that you would find least distressing, and work your way up to the most anxiety-provoking situation as your anxiety is diminished for each scenario. Fear HierarchyEat alone in a restaurant
If eating alone in a public place causes you anxiety, make a point of eating alone either in a food court of restaurant. Be sure to sit somewhere that you will be noticed by others while you eat. Have lunch with friends
Invite a few friends that you know well out for lunch. Be sure not to choose a restaurant based on “safety” factors such as dim lighting or a particular food that you know will be easy to eat.Host dinner in your home
Invite family and/or friends over for dinner in your home.Hold a glass of water in a business meeting
If you are usually too nervous to hold a drink while in business meetings for fear of your hand shaking, try holding one in your next meeting. Try not to hide your hands even if they shake. Have lunch with coworkers
Make plans to have lunch with coworkers, either at work or in a restaurant. If you always tend to eat your lunch alone, be sure to join your colleagues for lunch at least a couple of times a week.Have lunch with business clients
Are important business clients flying in for the day and someone needs to take them out for lunch? Instead of finding an excuse not to go, take the opportunity and practice eating in front of strangers. Although this may seem daunting, remember that you have already reduced your anxiety in a number of eating situations and that you can handle this too.Attend a formal function
Have you received an invitation to a wedding or banquet? Although it may be hard to time these type of events with your progression of exposures, if a particular celebration is still months away, it could be a great opportunity to plan for your exposures to coordinate with your attendance.
Remember that your fear hierarchy is a method for you to practice. If you continue to avoid the situations that cause you anxiety, your fear will never go away. In contrast, by entering the feared situations as often as possible, and staying until your anxiety decreases, eventually you will become habituated to the situation. If for some reason a particular situtation ends before your anxiety is reduced, be sure to practice the same situation again as soon as possible.
